dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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