awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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