it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
