I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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