You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm really busy with my period
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