they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
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Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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