Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize