I bet he comes in French.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
