It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize