i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I enjoy the company of your penis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
