OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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