I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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