oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
