his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
