Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize