Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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