We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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