Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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