you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
