Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
