We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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