yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
