when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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