We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
