So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize