1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
