I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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