YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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