I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
