Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The air was thick with penises
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
