She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
