its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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