Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
