I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
