sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
