i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I want a musical about memes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
