This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
