So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
