Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
