I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
