I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
