it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
