even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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