My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
