I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Couch. On fire.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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