PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
