I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize