if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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