bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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