She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
