pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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