We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
