Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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