it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
