How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
