Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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