You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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