awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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