I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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