I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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